no, he came in my armpit
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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