you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
