M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
