are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Randomize
