We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize