party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
