you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
