Nicole vs. Life
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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