**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
