When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
