So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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