Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
