youre lurking in front of me
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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