OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I hate all girls vehemently.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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