I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
