So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
