Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
