i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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