I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize