How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
