THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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