we have pet lesbian snakes
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize