After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
