he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
