3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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