girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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