i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I don't deserve a penis
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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