North Korea, Best Korea!
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
