Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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