so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
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