i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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