Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
