On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
