I want to walk on stilts...naked
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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