she looked like the before picture.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
