I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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