I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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