i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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