Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
