Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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