I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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