So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
