yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
