i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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