is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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