if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
