I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
