Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
