Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
