I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
