My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
