Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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