In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
In other news, I just burned my penis
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
