Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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