I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
