Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
my shit smells like andre
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Im just a social blackout drinker.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
