And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
