the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
