I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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